Behavior #3: Decline with grace
Preserving your Time in service of Agency is a brutal game.
It demands prioritizing your needs and vision over that of others, and therefore demands that you say “no” often (and in myriad subtle ways). It will pay to arm yourself with the skills necessary to do so.
The graceful “no” is both kind and certain — expressing your general wish to participate and your unwillingness to do so in the most empathetic language available to you. Paraphrasing, “no” is a complete sentence, but is bad for relationships if untempered by soft delivery.
At the same time, do not dissemble; you are not un-able to help, just un-willing, and should not disguise one with the other. Do not make excuses or deflect your choice on to phantom obligations, your current schedule, the impediments created by others, the weather, or your cat’s unfortunate polydactylity.
Instead, recognize the worthiness of the initiative under contemplation and the faith in your abilities embodied by the invitation, then explain that your goals supercede those you’ve been asked to consider. Then, should you so desire, communicate your interest in future invitations – “no” today is perhaps not “no” forever.
Gratitude, certainty, and openness to tomorrow’s ideas is a powerful combination. You will play the brutal game successfully (without ever becoming a brute).
Decline with grace.
READ ALL THE BEHAVIORS OF THE TIME AWARE
