Give up your gains grudgingly
📪 The Optimal Agent Newsletter #053
Take Action:
Give up your gains grudgingly.
Why It Matters:
Intentionally or unintentionally, it’s easy to self-sabotage — working hard for an outcome one moment, then taking actions that are opposed to it during another. By recognizing (and stopping) this intrapersonal tug-of-war, you’ll reach your ideals faster and with less stress, directing 100% of your energy toward the life you’re trying to build.
How To Do It:
Recognize opposing behaviors. Where in life are you “undoing”? For instance, are you undoing your progress in the gym by eating poorly on weekends? Are you undoing your motivation to work for yourself by taking on more responsibility at someone else’s corporation? Are you undoing your most important relationships through unnecessary conflict?
Allow discomfort. Could you be “undoing” because it keeps you in a comfortable place? For instance, are you afraid of the love you might experience if your relationship was harmonious and peaceful? Are you hesitant to excel at your profession because giving your best would expose you to the possibility of failure? Are you crushing sugar and alcohol because you don’t want to stand out as “other” at the party?
Treat yourself like someone you’re responsible for helping. You would never intentionally sabotage a friend, so don’t do it to yourself. It can help to imagine you’re two different people — the person taking the action in the moment and the person you’re trying to become. Are you helping yourself become everything you could be?
Explore More:
Listen: O.A. Podcast Episode #54: Healthier Weekends: Give Up Your Gains Grudgingly — where we take on a listener question about maintaining healthy habits on the weekends, avoiding the urge to “reward yourself” through self-sabotage, and the difference between training, exercise, and recreation (Audio)
Watch: The YouTube version of O.A. Podcast Episode 54
P.S. “Treat yourself like someone you’re responsible for helping” is Jordan Peterson’s phrase from 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, and it’s helped me through some difficult times. I hope it does the same for you.
